i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
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Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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