Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
