Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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