i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
