I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
