took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize