the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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