well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
