dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
