There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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