he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Semen is not good for contacts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
