Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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