That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
