super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
