dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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