He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
