remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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