She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
