I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
