I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
