So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
