so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
