You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
