hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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