I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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