Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
