Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
