why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
