Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
