Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize