She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You are a genius and a whore.
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