Your mouth is God's brothel.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there was a trapeze. enough said
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
