Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
