GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
