I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
