I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
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Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.