you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We can't do acid Disneyworld.