Yo dont text me then not text me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.