I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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