better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
