i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
