Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
