So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
