college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
