Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize