i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
