this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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