Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
