do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
