dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
