I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
