She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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