he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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