Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
