Dual....:-)
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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