We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
