Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
