haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
