Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
