An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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