I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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