she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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