Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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