So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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