The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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