I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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