i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
