sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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