I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I bet he comes in French.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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