is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize