you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
